What this Summer has taught me

"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength" - Phil 4:12-13

This Summer, God took me on a trip to the Land of Nothingness.  He made me leave behind everything that I could possibly be proud of and took away tools that I used to get respect from people around me.  He gave me no job, no dreams, no one to lean on, no idea of what I will be doing in the matter of months. No luck of falling asleep when I need to, no control over my own heart, not a single skill that I can be proud of, not even a consistent and strong spiritual life that others can "model after".  I was trying to run after these things in dissatisfaction, but somehow, in the midst of all my weaknesses, God has taught me how to be content. 

The work of the Holy Spirit is pretty amazing. I still don't understand how I get it. I feel like I am hanging between the end of season 5 and the beginning of season 6 in Friends, if you know what I mean. There are still questions unanswered, but somehow I am content of where I am.  Finally, I am no longer anxious in my waiting but at peace as I wait, because I know that if God wants me to wait, He probably has a pretty darn good reason for it.  I feel happy, just like this song: 

"it takes some silence to make sound... "

and it took me a season of being in want to learn how to be content. 

Maybe I'll get this job tomorrow. Let's pray. 4pm. 

Taken a little out of the context, but borrowing Paul's words,

 "Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, ¹⁹for I know that through your prayers and the help given by the Spirit of Jesus Christ, what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance."